Dream of Spiritual Suicide

Author: Ryan Hutzel

Spiral

In this dream there was a man I knew and I the children’s church room working on the newly created puppet stage. He was painting the puppet stage to make it have cartoon like feel. I had to go the bathroom, so I told him I would be back.  When I returned, he was missing. All his paints and airbrush tools were lying right where he was working.  It was as though he just dropped them and left them where he was. Over against far wall, this would be the exterior foundation wall to the outside; flush to the floor was a window.  There was never a window there before, so curiosity had me.  I went over to it and laid down on the floor to look out it to see where it went.  What I saw was endless.  Looking down, it just kept on going forever until it came to a vanishing point.  It was like being at the top of a very tall skyscraper and not being able to see the bottom.  I became dizzy, so I got up and started to walk towards the door of the children’s church room.  Arriving at the doorway, the pastor was walking by; I stopped him and asked him where my friend was. The pastor said he committed suicide a few days ago. It seemed like he didn’t care. After that he walked on upstairs. I began to walk down the hall towards the downstairs exit near the kitchen I was very baffled, trying to figure out what happened between using the restroom and how days went by. When I got to an intersection in the corridor I met with my friend niece as she came around the corridor corner. I asked her if she had heard of her uncle committing suicide.  She said “yeah!” like the pastor, she didn’t seem to care.

In conclusion, I was pulled away from my body and saw myself walking to the back exit. Very baffled, because of lack of understanding, all I did was shake my head back and forth. As I opened the back door everything faded to bright white. I woke up.

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